"A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children." ― David Brenner Topic(s): Funny More From David Brenner "When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine." More In Funny "I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don’t do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It’s hard for me to have fun and I’m a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front."― Garry Shandling "At boarding school you had to wear your name across your chest and your back, and obviously I had a pretty funny name. It wasn’t Brown or Smith or Hughes."― Diane Cilento "It were a real increase of human happiness, could all young men from the age of nineteen be covered under barrels, or rendered otherwise invisible; and there left to follow their lawful studies and callings, till they emerged, sadder and wiser, at the age of twenty-five."― Thomas Carlyle