"Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average." ― Adam Carolla Topic(s): Funny Tags: delusional, maybe More From Adam Carolla "If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it." "I don’t know anything about computers." "My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine." More In Funny "Everyone would talk about their diets and working out and what it made me do was go to craft services where all the food for the cast and crew was and I would eat."― Kristin Davis "It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to."― J. D. Salinger "I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends."― Walt Whitman